The Lover Within (Star Trek: TOS story by Ellen O'Neil)

Also see The Lover Within for similar titles.

Fanfiction
Title:	The Lover Within
Author(s):	Ellen O'Neil
Date(s):	1992
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
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The Lover Within is a Kirk/Spock story by Ellen O'Neil.

It was published in the print zine T'hy'la #12.

Summary

"An alien intelligence takes over the entire crew of the Enterprise except Spock, and Kirkʼs love for him is the only thing keeping the Vulcan alive."

Reactions and Reviews

1992

The moment I finished the last paragraph of this wonderful story, it vaulted onto my list of favorite K/S tales. Despite some problems that I had with Spock's characterization, I still think "The Lover Within" is a marvelous combination of a solid science fiction theme and the K/S premise. How would Kirk act towards Spock, his bondmate, if the evil side of his nature, similar to what was revealed in "The Enemy Within", were to take over? This story explores the answer to that question in a totally unexpected way.

As an alien intruder worked its evil on all the crew, all but Spock. that is. I knew what I expected from Kirk. Violence, perhaps disgust at the unorthodox relationship he shared with his First Officer, perhaps a return to his philandering ways with women. But no. The author surprises us instead with a fiercely possessive, jealous Kirk whose love for Spock is most definitely intact, despite the changes imposed upon his personality by the alien.

But that love is not expressed in the same loving manner anymore. The sex scene which takes place right after the transformation, before Spock is aware of the change, sent shivers up and down my spine. And I adored the mess hall confrontation between Kirk and a supposed rival for Spock's attention.

But best of all is the fierce possessiveness and anger in Kirk's voice when he refuses to kill Spock at the alien's command. "Nobody hurt him! And nobody tells me to hurt him! If you ever threaten him again. I will kill you!" The scene just melts my bones.

Perhaps what makes the transformation in the expression of Kirk's love for Spock so striking are the framing scenes at the beginning and end. which show the reader how things are between them normally. There are beautiful, tender expressions of love. The first scene as Spock wakes up in his lover's bed is so vividly portrayed. I felt as if I too could feel "the trapped, faintly moist heat of his body." And then there's "He loved waking up to the physical reassurance of Jim beside him in the morning. The ordinariness of it, the simple domesticity, was so much more than he had thought life would ever grant him: this is my lover, this is our bed." I call that exquisite writing, and wonderful sensitivity.

If there is a problem with this story, it's that Spock's character suffers in comparison to Kirk's. This story perhaps dwells on Spock's weaknesses to excess. His confusion over the transformation is a touch overdrawn. His actions on the bridge are decisive, in their way. but he seems to take a long time to reach that decision to act. Spock never does figure out what is happening on his own: Kirk has to explain it to him. This weakens him even further. Finally, he starts to act like the Spock I know and love when he attempts to booby- trap the engines and prevent spread of the alien's influence.

But my mind blanked out when Spock says to the Kirk who loves him, the Kirk who is also threatening to spread the alien influence throughout the galaxy, "I would not leave you. There are no circumstances in which I would ever leave you." I just can't believe that. No matter how much the two of them love one another, the fate of the Federation would be impetus enough to force Spock to leave, and somehow find away to stop the threat. On the last page of the story, Spock does basically say this, but in my mind it wasn't enough to counteract the avowal he makes on page 103.

One technical problem, especially in the sex scenes, notably in the last, the character's names are repeated too frequently. When "Spock" appears four times in fewer than four lines of columned print, that's too many times. This is a writing problem of which I am also guilty, so perhaps I am too aware of it. but it did bother me here and there.

I appreciated seeing Uhura, Sulu, Chekov, and Scotty in this story. The "wake-up" call from Sulu was great. And Scotty's actions were a skillfully integrated, essential part of the plot.

This is a very solidly written, well constructed story. Despite the fact that I did not totally agree with all of the characterizations. I enjoyed it immensely. A truly memorable story.

For my taste, Ellen has written the definitive alien-entity-wreaks-havoc-aboard-the-Enterprise story, but I can't imagine anyone doing it better.

This is a meticulously crafted story. Ellen throws out each separate thread of her plot and by the conclusion, she not only has reeled them all back in successfully, but tied them up in a lover's knot.

The first sex scene was especially lovely with a wealth of rich detail and sharp images. And the lines: "There was time: there was nothing but time, each moment of it textured and distinct, narrowed to here, to now. 'Yes,' he moaned. 'Yes,' as Jim reached for the lubricant. 'There is time.'" Wow! In Spock's five words, I was able to feel his absolute surrender to his newly discovered emotions. Beautifully done!

Kirk's characterization was right on the mark, from his fierce possessiveness to his jealousy, all kept under strict control until the entity releases them.

I had a small problem with the characterization of Spock. however. He's just a little too indecisive, too vulnerable. "The Deadly Years" comes to mind. However much he resists the necessary actions that remove Rirk from command, duty forces Spock to intervene, and we can see what the decision costs him. When the Romulan Commander asks him how he could betray her. Spock replies, "I am the First Officer of the Enterprise." When Khan offers him the chance to save Kirk's life by joining him. Spock refuses.

By the movies, Spock has mellowed a bit ("... go to hell." he says re Starfleets orders to return to base) but the series gives ample evidence of his devotion to duty. He will certainly put Kirk's welfare above his own principles, (Devil in the Dark) and his own life (The Apple), but with the threat to the Federation the entity represented, I think he would have acted Bore swiftly and with more decisiveness to stop it earlier than he did. He seemed to take an overly long tine to try to reach Kirk and change his mind. When he does act,(the scene in Engineering was absolutely riveting), he manages to be his usual extremely competent self.

Other than this quibble, "The Lover Within" was a wonderful story which immediately went on my reread list. It was far above the usual fare.

Nothing bland about this story. I love it! Bravo, Ellen!

This story is interesting and perfectly written, as always by this author. I like her Kirk very auch. Though we see his evil half, he is not really "the wolf". I see him like a child in a candy store. He is happy because all his wishes came true! And like a child he has no sense of right or wrong (except for the concern of Spock's well-being). Somehow he seems too innocent in his enthusiasm. And he still loves Spock and puts him above his new happiness. He is even glad that the hasn't changed "... you're perfect just as you are. Perfect... You're what I need." Isn't this true love?!

Poor Spock: the only sane person among a crew of crazy people! It's really a difficult question for Spock: "Are you saying you'd leave me and go back to Vulcan?" Though I can't see him in this different future Federation, I believe his 'No." This Spock is so in love with Kirk, that he could never live without his bondmate! Very touching was the scene when Kirk released the bond to Spock and the latter recognized the deep love within this "wolf".

I had to smile when I read the epilogue. Like Sleeping Beauty awakened: the cook slapped the kitchen-boy's face, the maid continued to pluck the chicken, the fireplace blazed up again... A nice idea!

1993

This was an intriguing, well-plotted story that completely held my interest even though I wasn't completely comfortable with Spock's actions.

First of all I loved the first scene. It felt so normal, so loving, so... right to see such a sweet, sexy relationship between our two heroes. Kirk's change (provided by an evil alien being) into a character similar to the "wolf" side of his personality was skillfully told. Instead of mindless violence, Kirk seemed to be more interested in jealously keeping his bondmate to himself, even actually striking a crewman who dares to approach Spock.

My only problem with the story was Spock's passive way of dealing with the events taking place on the ship, especially Kirk's rough handling of him in their quarters. I understand that Spock would be baffled and upset by the sudden change in Kirk's personality, but I think (hope) that our Vulcan would be able to overcome his initial confusion and refuse to put up with Kirk's selfish and domineering behavior. Spock's deep love for Kirk, no matter what, did shine through beautifully, however.

Of course, in the end, Spock acts in a straightforward and logical manner to outwit the alien entity.

The last scene was nice, with a chastened and embarrassed Kirk not sure of his welcome in Spock's bed.

This was a good, well-written story that I enjoyed very much. I'a starting to look forward to reading more of this author's stories. Keep up the good work!

I appreciate the original-series-episode feeling about this story regarding an entity transforming the crew (all but Spock). An intriguing tale. I like a story that starts right out with sex. Spock's teasing McCoy was a amusingly pleasant. Embarrassed him, I'm sure, and with a totally straight face. Interesting to have some harshness and violence when it's due to outside influences. I think Spock would have resisted a bit more. Nice sex. Erotic and very loving.

It seems the author is overly avoiding the use of he/him/his. Repeating proper names a number of times in one sentence reads very awkwardly; I don't know that that's preferable to wading through a sea of he's wondering which he is doing the doing.

Excellent "series feeling" as an alien entity invades the crew of the Enterprise, Only Spock is immune as the others experience personality changes that bring out their negative and dark side. There's a wonderful building of suspense as the entity moves through the ship changing the people. I have the hardest time with O'Neil's Spocks. As in her other story in this zine, she writes him as weak and frightened. Rather ineffectual, this is a Spock who trembles, is worried and anxious, along with descriptions such as "desperate". I think there is a fine line between a Spock who has doubts and conflicts inside himself, which he does, and a Spock who is just a weak character. Yes, Spock can he frightened and doubtful, but it's got to be within a personality of strength and power. I also don't mind seeing a Spock who is the "submissive" one, if, he comes from a position of acceptance of that role out of his own desire and will, because he's a victim. But, that's how this Spock comes across to me.

It is interesting to note that Kirk, here, is forceful and strong-willed. He makes direct decisions easily and is an excellent commander, even when taken over by the alien. So the contrast is even aore striking between him and Spock. I loved the idea that Kirk becomes jealous and possessive of Spock when his "dark side" emerges, along with some really erotic, rough sex.

Overall, it was such a great plot with so many possibilities, that I feel it could have been a lot longer and much more fully explored. This is one of those stories that could support a novel.

2001

The story that I think actually suffers from the "weak" Spock characterization is also O'Neil's most serious, and that is The Lover Within. I feel as if this story comes so close to being really wonderful, but the Spock characterization in fact impedes its success. (As opposed to, say, Cynthia Drake's An Inhabited Garden, where the weak Spock is essential to the plot.) Kirk and Spock are lovers, and there's a very nice opening sex scene. But an Entity eventually takes over the ship and during the night it transforms all aboard, except Spock, so that their baser natures take over. Spock is bewildered when he awakens and his morning sexual activity with Kirk is somewhat rough and Kirkis extremely dominant. What bothers me is how bewildered Spock is throughout all of this, how reluctant he is to take action, how long it takes him to come to emotional terms with the reality of his senses. The Spock that I know and love just isn't so slow on the uptake! But O'Neil's characterization requires this response, and so the events of the story seem to me to be impeded as a result.

However, I really have got to say that her Kirk characterization, before and after he's transformed as well as when he's different, seems to be right on to me. The story has a marvelous, climactic scene where the altered Kirk proves that his devotion to Spock is exactly as deep and committed as it ever was. It's a great scene.

Early in the story, before the transformation, Kirk makes note of the fact that there's a lieutenant commander from Sciences who seems to be "mooning" over Spock. Then, after the Entity unleashes the dark side of the crew, the same officer comes up to Kirk and Spock in the mess and pretty blatantly issues an intimate invitation to Spock. There's something in me that absolutely cheers when the unrestrained Kirk unleashes his jealousy and just levels the man to the floor with a blow from his fist.

2010

This author didn‘t write K/S for very long, but I quickly learned to look for her name in the table of contents of a zine. While she writes a more submissive Spock and a more dominant Kirk than is usually found, I enjoy her renditions of the guys. She manages to push my sensitive Vulcan button every time...

This story opens with a love scene—very sweet and slow and loving. The two men have been bonded for six months, months that have been a revelation to Spock. The love, the shared secrets, the intimacy of this cherished relationship is something he never thought to find.

Too soon the ship receives a distress call from a Dr. Stefan Grigalis, the head of a research team examining a long dead civilization on Beta Cygnus 12. When the Enterprise arrives, Kirk and company find all the scientists but Grigalis dead and the doctor curiously unmoved by it all.

Back on the ship we find out why. A being known as the Entity carried in an amulet worn by the doctor has been brought aboard as well. This evil remnant of a lost age takes control of every person on the ship, everyone but Spock. Once again, Spock‘s unique heritage saves him. Just as in The Enemy Within, the dark side of each person‘s character is revealed. It takes Spock awhile to figure out what is happening. (He‘s usually a bit faster on the uptake than this, but it certainly makes for a tension packed story.)

Now Spock‘s job is clear. He must stop this malignant force from reaching Earth even though his bondmate stands in the way. The evil Kirk loves Spock just as much as his better self, but the ways in which he shows it are a bit difficult to read. It is only when the Entity and Grigalis have decided Spock must die that Kirk rebels.

This story is marvelously paced, maintaining a consistent tension from beginning to end. Again, this is a weaker though still recognizable Spock characterization than you might be used to, but perfectly satisfying to those of us for whom this is a guilty pleasure.

2006

Ellen takes a more serious turn with this established-romance story. A cloud entity gets aboard the Enterprise and transforms all the humans, something along the lines of "Enemy Within," with their aggressive sides taking over. Scotty plans to murder an inept crewman, McCoy snarls at the wussy patients, Chapel plans a new life as a Vegas show girl, Kirk rapes Spock, and the entire bridge crew (except Spock) rejoice in using a Tellarite freighter for target practice, before Kirk's love for Spock, strong even in his dark side, puts a stop to the Entity.

2007

A third story by the same author in T’hy’la 12 is “The Lover Within,” and it has quite a different tone from the other two. The crew of the Enterprise is taken over by a malevolent alien intelligence that brings out the very worst impulses in those it infects...and that’s everybody but Spock, who seems to be immune. But he and Kirk are lovers, and although Kirk is now a truly surly individual, he still loves Spock fiercely. All his jealous impulses are on display, and when the alien suggests that Kirk do away with the interfering Vulcan, there is one of the best Kirk-defiant scenes ever written. At least in my opinion